I’m scared of being the one who cares too much. But I always care more than I should. And I know that no one will care for me like I care for them, but I’ve cared for him from the moment I saw him. And I cared for them best I can, but I can feel them backing out on me.
Today, I finally felt what’s like to really feel like shit. And I’m not sure what to do. Today, may be the day I decide whether or not I’m gonna make it to my 17th birthday. I already feel so alone. I already feel worthless. I already feel terrible about everything and I just can’t see the point of living. There’s no one here for me. And there will never be anyone here for me.
I figured out I’m alone. I thought I wasn’t but I am and I think I might do it. I’ve been cut free for 2 years not but I can’t take this anymore. I want to die. I WANT TO DIE.
Honestly, I can’t tell when people actually care. Do they? Don’t give me bullshit if you don’t. And don’t say you do because you would like to be that person who does. I want to know if anyone genuinely cares. That doesn’t mean reblogging some post about: I care, talk to me. Because that’s bullshit. I’m talking about someone truly caring about how someone is and how they feel and what they’re doing and if they’re okay. Because I’m trying to figure out if that’s possible, but I’m not seeing it. I’ve never seen it. And I don’t want to sit here waiting for someone who doesn’t even exist when I could be resting peacefully 6 feet underground without the pain.